A second chance
by 4lira
Summary: She has been running away for years, never staying, always trying to hide. The lonliness is driving her mad, still she doesn't want to give up- afraid of her past. Fate intervenes when her car breaks down in the Tri- Cities.


A second chance

Chapter 1

Her car was smoking, she was in the middle of nowhere and her freakin'car was smoking! Now she was absolutely convinced that she just shouldn't have moved in the morning. She hated the heat of the desert but at least no one else would have been there. Now she would have to spend the next few days in some town to get that damned car repaired.

She pulled her car to the right, stopped, walked to the front and opened it- just to make sure. Of course it had to be the engine yet irrationally she still had hoped… and now of all times, just three days until the full moon. So no running this month- she mused quietly.

Cursing constantly she got a bottle of water and purred it over the engine, and then she sends a quiet prayer to anyone listing hoping she would make it to next town. Driving slow and carefully she stared calculating; she needed to stock up her food supply and as she was headed north she would need some warmer clothing. On top of that if she needed a replacement for her engine it would cost her dearly if she would get lucky probably round about 400Dollars, then she would have to pay a motel seeing that she couldn't sleep in the car while it was being repaired and she had no intention of sleeping on the streets in a city and during the full moon. Dam it all, she thought, she really had been looking forward to run again. Of course there would have been no point in running in the first place if it hadn't been for that or Max… no not him her new alpha 'rewarding' him.

She really didn't want to continue that line of thought and she silently hated herself for still thinking of him as **her** alpha. She smiled thinking of just how much trouble he would be in explaining her absence. She hadn't been mated- wouldn't have had the trouble then, probably she chastised herself- as if anyone would have courted the freak. But still, she smiled; she hadn't been at the bottom of the pack- pretty far from that actually- her dominance had driven all the males mad. She still sometimes wondered if she should have challenged her alpha not Herald, of course not, she had been happy in her pack once, had felt accepted even loved… she really missed those times. Suddenly she felt horribly lonely. Perhaps it wouldn't be so horrible spending some time in human company. She might even settle down for some time- it was quiet likely that she would have to anyway. She had 700Dollars left and needed, probably, she mused, a new engine- she really should start looking for a job. For good measure she once again cursed her new alpha, Marten. No one, no probably that had changed but still she didn't know about it, had any idea where he had come from. One night he had called asking to speak with the alpha, he had claimed that he wished to go lone wolf which had been accepted gratefully by the hole pack. He had made no secret of it not even as a curtsey to his host- he was far more dominant than the alpha. Two weeks later he cornered a drunken, tired and exhausted alpha in the middle of night. The pack had been sleeping, waking up feeling the despair of their alpha's dead. She still remembered that night vividly, the horrible pain and anxiety which had woken her up, running, rushing, breaking the speed limits to get to her alpha's house. Marten had been waiting, smiling, assessing anyone entering telling everyone of his deeds- proudly, announcing himself as their new alpha. Then he had assessed the pack structure. He had been more than annoyed that his third was female. She remembered how he had yelled at her saying it would be entirely impossible for a female to be dominant enough to hold such a position, finding some improper suggestions as to how she might have achieved that. It had taken her every ounce of control and if she was honest a bit of magic as well to not charge him at that very instant. Instead she had conceded to renounce her position as his third. Still he didn't nominate anyone else so everyone but him still had treated her like nothing had changed. That probably was the start of her downfall she thought. Then she pondered that having him as her alpha would likely have gotten the same result in the long run- still if she hadn't attacked then… well probably not, not even then she could have ever accepted him as her alpha. A tiny voice reprimanded her that she had just called him that- she growled and reminded herself of the night he had brought Max to the pack.

At first after that one fateful night there had been no changes of pack structure or anything else. Marten led the hunt twice and everyone tried hard to ignore the change in leadership- still the undercurrents hadn't subsided. It had been almost three months ago that he had become her alpha, the full moon was approaching and she was ready to change and run. Still she had to wait as her alpha had expressed the wish to make a statement first. She paced nervously. Finally, his steps reverberated on the wooden floorboards- he had company. Curios she had stolen a glance Max, she remembered believing he had gotten mad enough to be killed and in order to demonstrate his strength her alpha wanted to execute him in front of the hole pack wondering whether his crime had been seriously nasty.

The room had become utterly quiet, glancing at her fellow pack she saw the same thoughts pacing through several of them. Some seemed to hope desperately that they would get a chance to participate in the kill.

The voice of her alpha forced her to abandon all questions. She now remembered his every word vividly, it burned in her memory, she cursed his foolishness, cursed herself that she hadn't been clear enough, cursed herself for not trusting her alpha…she swore loudly and vowed once more to never submit to anyone again- ever and definitely not to him- she should most definitely have attacked him that night. As if that would be helping now she reminded herself taking several calming breaths to keep herself from changing then and there- it would really be funny for a wolf to drive a car, on a deserted motorway…no she couldn't, no wouldn't change now. Her car was crap and she was driving _towards_ a city for god's sake. She _needed_ to focus…on the road, still she heard the echo of that night's voices reverberating in head: "From this day forward, Mine to me and mine. Pack" " Yours to you, mine to me". He had made him pack- that asshole had made Max pack! Had yelled at her as she tried to stop him, telling him that Max had gotten dangerous and her former alpha had forced him to go lone wolf not wanting to kill him. He knew and still… son of a **** she shouted empathically. Her car rumbled in response.

It has been almost fifteen years and still just the thought of him brought so dangerously close to changing- she decided that her temper had most definitely not improved. Well, at least it hadn't changed for the worse which might be considered an accomplishment in itself, she reminded herself or perhaps there just happened to be incidents one could never possibly forget. She was just hoping that someday someone or somewhat would have the strength to punish such evil for all those who hadn't been able to defend themselves. If she had acted sooner at least her friend might have been spared, but she just hadn't been one hundred percent sure…so she had convinced herself that she was imagining things, that it would run against his instincts, that she would know if he had gotten mad, that her alpha would have protected her even if he didn't like her. Never again would she trust someone again, so completely , so easily- knowing that trust and loyalty were essentials for a pack had convinced her to abandon all efforts to get a pardon. Her friend had trusted her and she hadn't been able to keep her safe. Max, that bastard, had been abusing her friend for months and due to doubts… she hadn't, wouldn't, didn't act. Why oh why had she been so dammed reasonable, logical thought just of the consequences and not more about her friend- she might no would have been able to save her- if her alpha hadn't intervened that night…she smiled. Of course, he would have found out eventually but at least Max would be dead for sure…her smile spread. It was a shame that she didn't know for sure, the pack might have healed him but his throat hadn't looked to good when she started running…she was definitely proud of that, would have been even better if the alpha had arrived a bit later… Never would she forget the look on her friend's face- it had really been a surprise visit she just would never have guessed that Max was with her…the memory crushed to the surface every detail vividly remembered like it had happened yesterday and not almost thirteen years ago. Her boss had let her go early as their project had unexpectedly been finished quicker than everyone thought, so she had decided to knock at Mary's flat and see what she was doing tonight. Cheerfully she had opened the door shouting "hey Mary, are you in?" Then she smelled the fear, the terror in the air, Max and arousal. She started running, hurrying to save her packmate and friend upstairs quickly towards the bedroom, bursting open the door… she had been lying there, barley clad covered with bruises in all shades of purple and Max by her side smiling his eyes glowing yellow… before she had reached them a soft pop, a sight and the silence the utter quietness of death. He had broken Mary's neck… she had lost it then, given in to her wolf, attacking without strategy and thought just following her wrath. She still wasn't able to guess the time of that fight or the time it took her alpha to separate them she just regretted her lack of control wondering if Max would have made it if she had been able to control her moves, hitting the right spots, planning, calculating his moves instead of using brute force. She should definitely have known better and never did the words of her fighting instructor ring clearer: if you want to win with force you gotta be far stronger than your opponent otherwise you'll just leave bruises and get hurt in return if you want to win a fight you gotta make it quick, use your brains, concentrate, watch and make sure he doesn't get up again. The most dangerous of fighters are in control **always** paying attention, waiting, watching for weaknesses no matter their motivation- you've got to think if you want to win. Well, she had had time to think afterwards- in the secure room- once she had calmed down it didn't take her long to decide that Max had to die. She hadn't been particular about the executioner even though she would have loved to…she wasn't sure if her control was sufficient other than that she didn't regret any of her actions except for her incapability to kill him quickly. She had sworn to herself to better if there should be a second encounter and even though she was on the run she never had skipped training. Whenever she stayed close to civilization she enrolled in classical material arts practice she could find certain that it hadn't been for lack of determination or dominance on her part but she would only have to learn control and traditionally any material arts taught that. Furthermore it wouldn't be too bad to know a few good moves perhaps she might be able to take her time with the fight making him feel justice long, slowly, painfully. She was sweating, squeezing the wheel fingers cramping- taking a slow breath she reminded herself of control and pushed her thoughts forward to the night of the trial. It had been the full moon, at sunrise- she had spend the hunt in the safe room pacing, wondering why they kept her waiting. Bad tempered, tired, in her old filthy clothes she had been standing in front of the pack readying herself to tell them of the horrors she had seen. No-one had asked her! Marten had simply declared that Mary wouldn't have been as obedient as a women should be so Max had had any right to punish her in whichever way he deemed appropriate. Unfortunately, she had interrupted leading to in Mary's accidental death taking into consideration her naturally limited intelligence she would be allowed to atone for it in whichever way Max saw fit. Then he had **ordered **her to follow Max's whishes submissively- starting now. To enforce his point he had taken them to Max's house. When the door closed Max had unleashed his anger, shouting at her- she had been able to endure that, she even had managed to ignore the insults, managed to keep calm when he told her about Mary then he touched her. Suddenly, her alpha's orders blurred, lost their meaning, their power became only words- the sudden relief cleared her thoughts, she used the surprising second and went for his throat choking him, drawing blood pushing savagely until she heard Marten's approaching quickly. Panic moved her still she had the sense to break his neck before she started running- she had always been good at that and meanwhile she had the experience to prove it. Since that day she had been on the run cursing old-fashioned men and rage she kicked her car. A soft plop answered and she wasn't moving anymore.


End file.
